It’s graduation season and recent grads are finding themselves at the epicenter of the perfect storm of anxiety, nostalgia, debt, hopefulness and new beginnings. Graduation is a time of great joy but it can become a time filled with many unknowns. Handling these new feelings and situations takes a bit of practice and patience.
Twenty months ago, I found myself entering into a graduate program without any expectation other than receiving a Master of Communications while bolstering my knowledge and earning potential. But the friendships I left with and the transformations I experienced created a safety net of sorts for me that I’d grown accustom to. The effects of that final surreal week were not felt until the Monday after graduation was over. Had I known that my body would need to readjust, I would have taken a week off of work.
I found myself sleeping excessively, emotionally confused and in a mental haze of sorts. At one point I was lost on my smartphone, wondering which app would help me find my way down the street… Yes, it was that bad. What was happening to me? I then realized that my body was going through a detox from the lack of sleep and the heightened amounts of adrenaline I lived on for the last two years. Besides that, the elevated and somewhat euphoric state of the actual graduating experience- putting on the cap and gown; seeing family in one place all focused on me; saying goodbye to people I’ve grown close to; and the whole host of other high energy, celebratory activities that burst into the fireworks of you’re now done– left me emotionally spent once it was all over. When the dust settled, what’s left?
I was left with a lot of questions. How am I going to make my loan payments and sustain my household? What was I going to do now? How will I make this degree work for me? When will I empty my inboxes? What should I fix first in my home? When will I tackle this mountain of laundry? How will I fill my time?
Although I have yet to answer all of these questions, and the hundreds of others, here’s a bit of advice I have to help soften the blow of graduation for recent college grads.
- Pace yourself. Take it day-by-day but plan ahead. We’re only human and we can only focus on one task at a time. Don’t plan to accomplish everything in one day, week or even month. Spread out the chores that went undone; sprinkle in a bit of fun; and make sure you plan something to look forward to. You didn’t finish your program in a week, so you can’t expect to get back to the real world in that time either.
- No pressure. With the above said in regard to planning; eliminate all avenues of pressure. If your family expects you to be “back to normal” immediately, well that’s a conversation you need to have with them. Set appropriate boundaries for yourself at work and at home so that you don’t have a breakdown. Prioritize external expectations according to your goals and the promises you’ve made to others.
- Spend time with family. I have kids. I’ve missed a lot of quality time because of school responsibilities. Take time with your kids or your spouse. Don’t fill that void of school with more work. Consider that they too made a sacrifice so that you could improve yourself. It’s time for a little kickback. Not a guilt-filled one, but still one rooted in a respectful acknowledgement of their support of you.
- Physical and Emotional Maintenance. Go to the doctor, the dentist, the OB/Gyn, the counselor. I’ve put off my own appointments for almost two years. That’s a shame but it was necessary for me to prioritize my children’s health, school and work. Now that there is more room on the calendar, I’m scheduling all of my own appointments and getting a full evaluation of the state of my being.
- Eat well. I always rely on input-output. Generally, I eat well, but it’s true that some nights I ate a little junk while up studying or working on projects. I recommend that fruits, vegetables and quality sources of protein and omega fatty acids are consumed regularly. Water. Water, water, water. Our bodies are mostly comprised of water. Drink lots of it. Personally when I have these types of foods and eliminate sugars, starches and other unnecessaries I feel a lot better, have more energy and execute with mental clarity.
- Sleep well. Go to bed early and get up early. I can’t help but get 9 hours of sleep a night now. Post-graduation bedtime was 9pm some nights and found I felt guilty the next morning until I realized that I had no assignments due. Sleep is one sure way of helping the body heal and recover quickly. Never feel guilty about getting more of it, especially now.
- Positivity. Finding joy in life keeps you positive and focused on positive objectives. With the free time I intend to smile more, stress less and find opportunities to create fun memories. A positive mood is uplifting in challenging times. There are challenges ahead for graduates, whether it’s finding a new job or paying bills- a positive outlook will make these challenges realistic and achievable.
- Habits and Hobbies. Habits make us who we are and our hobbies are our opportunities to express our joy for life. Finding opportunities to bring the two-habits and hobbies- together will ultimately make us happier people. There were a lot of activities I used to do that were set aside because there was no time. I love reading for pleasure, I love playing sports, these hobbies are also greats habit to have- reading and exercise. Take a moment to think about what dropped off the calendar and put it back in there because you need it to express who you are.
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed but keep it all in perspective. Nothing happens overnight; growth is a process. It took you a while to graduate, it’s going to take you a while to recover and appreciate the experience and the amount of time and opportunity available to you again. Believe it or not, you’ve got a lot of time on your hands. You’re either going to fill your calendar with anxiety, more work, nothing, obligations for others or activities you enjoy- choose wisely.
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Amber Coleman-Mortley is a “life-nerd” searching for the answers through experience. Her blog/vlog “Mom Of All Capes” (www.MomOfAllCapes.com) highlights ways in which parents and children can learn by doing and loving. Much of this learning is an exchange. Amber believes that fostering passion within today’s youth is a key component to building a stronger tomorrow.
SOURCE: Disruptive Women in Health Care – Read entire story here.
