From Nicki Minaj to Kim Kardashian to every rear end in between, one thing is clear: We are in the age of the booty, where more is more. But as our collective obsession with big backsides grows, one thing that has stayed small is the underwear we’re supposed to put on them. Even in the era of bubble butts, tiny thongs are considered the decent thing to wear. What’s so wrong with granny panties, though? Here’s why the frumpy undies are kind of the hottest things in our drawer.
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1. They’re Super Comfy
Few things are as maddening and uncomfortable as trying to de-wedge a thong while in the middle of a public place. Having a slight underwear line is a small price to pay for spending your entire workday with your undies resting comfortably on the outside of your body.
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2. They’re Cheap
Why pay so much for a couple of centimeters of sheer lace when you can nab a pack of three panties—all with substantially more fabric—for the exact same price?
3. They Can Keep You from Going Home with a Guy When You’ve Made That Pact with Yourself
He’s hot, he’s cool, and you’ve decided he’s in the kiss-only zone for now, which is a decision you intend to stick to—until you’re actually in his presence, sharing dessert and playing footsie. Your willpower is slowly caving—until you remember that your bottom half looks like a scene from Golden Girls, and suddenly it’s so much easier to ask the waiter for a check.
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4. You Can Wear Them When You’re on Your Period
Forget destroying your sexy duds during that time of the month, and call in your good old reliable grannies for emergency duty. If only they came with a built-in heating pad, you’d be all set.
5. They Can Be Worn Around the House Like Shorts
When it’s too hot to wear pants at home, stripping down to your skivvies is the only way to go. But exposed butt cheeks and a leather couch don’t exactly mix. Full-coverage undies offer just enough comfort and protection to make spending 12 hours in your underwear seem normal. Kind of.
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6. Your Sister Won’t Steal Them
Funny how so often, her visits seem to coincide with a mysterious disappearance of you favorite camisole or your cutest boy shorts. Put a few of these in your drawer, and at least you won’t have to go commando the day she leaves.
7. They Can Keep Laundry Day at Bay
No need to spend your Sunday hunched over the washing machine when you’ve got a solid reserve of backup granny panties that will tide you over well into next week. Phew! Now you can use the day responsibly—at a mimosa brunch with your girlfriends in a slightly dirty sundress!
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